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mosaic
by Lauren O'Brien
sometimes i find myself
curled up
contemplating my demise
asking
why do we die?
why does everything change?
a sage told me
we are lambs walking
to the slaughterhouse
we are dew on the grass
nothing lasts
yet somehow
everything lasts
we are a constantly changing mosaic
held together with the force
of opposing forces
the force
of opposing forces
the good and the bad of it
the right and the left of it
the down and the up of it
the finite and infinite
it matters and it don’t
empty desolation sweet intoxication
murder and creation
murder and creation
death and eternity
death and eternity
pulling me
pulling me
i give up i am curled up contemplating my desire for death yet my incorrigible life force forces itself through and through gulping from the cup of life i am gulping from the cup of life i am desperately lonely i need some time alone i am so generous i constantly think about myself taking taking taking i never ask for help i am so confident i need constant validation i crave my lifelong mate i am an independent completely fulfilled i am always hungry all joy and laughter silent frozen all my passion unknown unspoken the melancholy court jester the silent poet the actor that cannot move green wonderwoman consuming clean fuck it i can’t be in this dirty world and not be of it
i am a constantly changing mosaic
held together with the force
of opposing forces
the force of opposing forces
we are
a constantly changing mosaic
held together with the force
of opposing forces
Lauren O’Brien
nyc 2006